just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
