At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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