Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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