Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
