Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
