The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
