I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
