Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
