I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
