What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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