She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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