hotel room ftw
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
