So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
