I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
