you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Dear god my vagina.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
