rhymes with "ouble enetration"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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