Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
