Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
