I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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