I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
kristin has been a bad kristin
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
