is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
This house was built for laser tag.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So much rum. So many feels.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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