Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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