are you so shy because you have an std?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
