She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
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