I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
