Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
