don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
