youre lurking in front of me
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
