I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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