I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
