you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
