Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
