piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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