cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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