I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
