how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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