Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
