I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
