the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
