I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
