So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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