And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i think we sleep fucked last night...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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