I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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