So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
