At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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