Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
