hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
