Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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