I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Porn is love you can see.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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