My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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