I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
