Who wears a wallet chain?!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
